Each week we change the words/quote/saying that we are displaying on the noticeboard in our kitchen; these are the words we try to live by individually and as a family that week. Some weeks may focus on lifting our mood, others may be about motivation or attitude to life; something that speaks to us on some level and that we can directly apply to our lives. Changing the words each week stops them from becoming just another thing you walk past without really seeing, it keeps things fresh and stops them losing their power. This series is where I share those words with you in the hope they may help you and your family too.

Without further ado, this weeks words are:

words to live by do not judge

Thanks to today’s media and our seemingly endless need for gossip we are all being bombarded on a daily basis with people being judged. Everyone is always judged on their appearance; they are too fat, too thin, too old, too young, too ugly, too pretty. We criticise people for the way they dress, the way they live their lives, the way they raise their kids, the amount of money they have or don’t have. And instead of being horrified but this constant judgement, it has become the norm.

Don’t get me wrong, I am no saint and am just as guilty as everyone else for engaging in this baseless judgement of others. The majority of the time it is aimed at celebrities, people we don’t know (no matter how much it may feel like we do), people we will likely never meet. Because of that distance it seems ok.  But how would you feel if that was your child, a parent, a sibling, a best friend. Would you consider all those judgements ok then?

We have no idea what that person is going through, what pain they have suffered, whether they cry themselves to sleep at night.

There really is no way we can know the heart, the intentions, or the circumstances of someone who might say or do something we find reason to criticize. Thus, judge not.” – Thomas S. Monson

Putting others down to make themselves feel better used to be the reserve of the school bullies but now it seems we are all at it. Since becoming a parent it really does worry me what kind of society we are bringing them into, the judgements they will face growing up.

“When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.” – Dr. Wayne Dyer

I find myself doing it all the time; I see someone on the tv or walking past me in the street and I make a snap judgement about them without ever having spoken to them. What does that say about me? Not something I like that’s for sure. Once you start paying attention to your thought processes you will be amazed at just how many times a day you judge other people for no good reason.

I was raised, as I’m sure many of you were, with the old saying “If you have nothing nice to say, then don’t say anything at all”. But somewhere along the line this seems to have been forgotten.

Just because I never voice these judgements to the persons face does that make it ok?

Last weeks words were all about being kind to one another with our words and actions, this week I want to take things a step further and show kindness in our thoughts toward others too. No-one will know you have made a change but you will feel it in yourself.

As with last week, we need to remember not to leave ourselves out of the equation too. If anything we are probably far more judgmental towards ourselves than anyone else ever will be.

If I stop judging other people, I free myself from being judged, and I can dance.” – Patti Digh

So this week is all about paying attention to our thoughts, when we hear ourselves passing judgement, whether against others or ourselves, we need to interrupt the thought and try to think of something positive to replace it.

I’ll leave you with one final quote:

“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” – Mother Teresa

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61 thoughts on “Words To Live By #6: Do Not Judge

  1. I think I have gotten SLIGHTLY better at this in the past few years. I hope so at least.


    Posted on 7 November, 2016 at 3:07 pm
    1. It’s a hard habit to break because everyone does it, but any attempt to cut back has to be a good think x

      Posted on 7 November, 2016 at 3:25 pm
  2. Yes, sadly all so true. Your final quote sums it all up beautifully. I posted last week about how judged I felt when I had four kids under 5. Of course we all judge, but I love your idea of stopping a judgmental thought in its tracks and replacing it with a positive one. A great thought for all of us. Alison x #mg
    Alison (MadHouseMum) recently posted…The Bigger One’s TagMy Profile

    Posted on 7 November, 2016 at 7:57 pm
    1. Thank you. It’s become so ingrained in us it’s hard to stop, but noticing when we are doing it is half the battle x

      Posted on 7 November, 2016 at 9:55 pm
  3. Love these words to live by- too many people judge others today, like it’s a requirement they do so. Just relax and let people be. #bigpinklink
    Heather Keet recently posted…Do something great today…My Profile

    Posted on 8 November, 2016 at 1:14 am
    1. Thank you. Your last sentence sums it all up perfectly! May have to add that to the board x

      Posted on 8 November, 2016 at 7:32 am
  4. It seems to be a good exercise to remind ourselves of the right values. Not judging people including ourselves frees us of the negativity that arises in the process. Thank you for the reminder for watching my thoughts this week and thereafter.
    Anamika Agnihotri recently posted…The Sincere Mumma #MondayMusingsMy Profile

    Posted on 8 November, 2016 at 6:55 am
    1. Thank you so much, there is enough negativity in the world without us adding more x

      Posted on 8 November, 2016 at 7:32 am
  5. It’s so true. Those snap judgments are ever present, it can be so hard to stop but I think if you don’t voice them, or act upon them, it is ok. It’s often something you can’t control. I always try to challenge my judgments and stereotypes and always tell the children not to judge a book by it’s cover. Thanks for linking up with the #bigpinklink
    Louise Pink Pear Bear recently posted…So, what do you do then?My Profile

    Posted on 8 November, 2016 at 12:52 pm
    1. It is such a hard thing to stop, but challenging those snap judgements is definitely the way forward x

      Posted on 8 November, 2016 at 1:54 pm
  6. Oh I like this one!

    I read an interesting quote somewhere that said ‘don’t judge me because my sin is different to yours’ which I really like (not necessarily the religious aspect) but I realised I was judging other people worst bits against my best bits while simultaneously hoping they overlooked my worst bits!
    Beth recently posted…Does complete honesty matter?My Profile

    Posted on 8 November, 2016 at 2:30 pm
    1. That’s a great quote. Sadly, we all do it but I’m trying to stop myself x

      Posted on 8 November, 2016 at 4:26 pm
  7. I feel like judging is such an automatic reaction that we almost can’t help it really…it’s what we do with those judgements and how we move forward from there that really counts. I always think that I can’t possibly understand someone elses life or circumstances so even though I may split-second judge I always have a little rethink and ultimately that forms my real opinion. Overall though: if you don’t have anything nice to say: don’t say it! Great post. #DreamTeam x

    Posted on 8 November, 2016 at 2:53 pm
    1. Thank you, it seems so ingrained in human nature now that it happens without thinking, but like you say, having that rethink is what makes the difference x

      Posted on 8 November, 2016 at 4:31 pm
  8. Thanks for sharing such an important quote. I hate feeling judged, but know that I sometimes (even if unknowingly) also judge others. I think it is something that we always need to continue working on! Thanks for sharing your story. #candidcuddles
    Leri recently posted…Quote of the day – PerseveranceMy Profile

    Posted on 8 November, 2016 at 3:25 pm
    1. So true, we’ve all been on the receiving end at some point and yet still do it to others. As long as we recognise that those snap judgements are often flawed and change our viewpoint we can improve x

      Posted on 8 November, 2016 at 4:34 pm
  9. I read something a while ago that popped in my mind reading this – “The first thought that goes through your mind is what you have been conditioned to think; what you think next defines who you are.” I quite like that way of looking at it, because the thing is, we do all judge others, don’t we? But it’s that second thought we have after making that snap judgement that says most about us. x #CandidCuddles
    Madeline (This Glorious Life) recently posted…The one thing that you haveMy Profile

    Posted on 8 November, 2016 at 9:41 pm
    1. Love that, it’s so true! Thank you for sharing x

      Posted on 9 November, 2016 at 3:22 pm
  10. I have definitely become less judgey since becoming a parent because I guess I had to grow up. Plus I always look at the bigger picture now 🙂 #bestandworst
    Amy recently posted…A Family Day Out At Paultons Family Theme Park My Profile

    Posted on 9 November, 2016 at 4:37 pm
    1. Having kids definitely changes our view of the world x

      Posted on 9 November, 2016 at 5:52 pm
  11. It’s so difficult not to judge but you can train yourself! I have been in training for some time and am a better person for it by far 🙂 #FamilyFun
    Twin Pickle recently posted…Baby Finger Food: Trump Pork and Apple BurgersMy Profile

    Posted on 9 November, 2016 at 4:58 pm
    1. It is hard, but worth the effort if our children learn by our example well done for making the change x

      Posted on 9 November, 2016 at 5:53 pm
  12. So true. I also make snap judgements immediately on seeing a person, I’m sure everyone does and it probably can’t be helped, so long as we then decide to remember that we don’t know their story. Thanks for linking up to #MarvMondays. Kaye xo
    Kaye recently posted…Jesse Blue | 3 monthsMy Profile

    Posted on 9 November, 2016 at 5:33 pm
    1. That’s the key, giving ourselves that little reality check. I’m hoping that by paying attention to when I’m doing it and replacing those thoughts with something positive and I can gradually change my way of thinking x

      Posted on 9 November, 2016 at 5:56 pm
  13. Another lovely post and it really does tag nicely on to last weeks topic. Can’t wait to see what your ‘word’ is next week. #bestandworst x
    Lisa recently posted…Celebrating Wednesday’s #1My Profile

    Posted on 9 November, 2016 at 7:40 pm
    1. Thank you. I can’t wait to find out either, I never seem to know what it will be till Monday morning and then it just hits me x

      Posted on 9 November, 2016 at 8:08 pm
  14. I love that you have a quote for each week. This is great and I love this weeks quote. I’ve been guilty of judging in the past – as we all are. But I don’t like it when people judge me!! Great words to live by themat I’ll be taking on board. #candidcuddles
    Jaki recently posted…A Positive Mind – Wednesday Wisdom 5My Profile

    Posted on 9 November, 2016 at 9:06 pm
    1. Thank you, it’s true that we all hate it being done to us but still do it to others. I think as long as we recognise it when it happens and challenge our thinking we can go someway toward changing our attitudes x

      Posted on 10 November, 2016 at 7:03 am
  15. We are all guilty of doing this – even if we try not to. I am quite an easy going person and try not to judge but sometimes we all make fast judgements of people. Surely everyone deserves a chance, Sarah #sharingthebloglove

    Posted on 10 November, 2016 at 1:08 pm
    1. We do all make snap judgements, it happens so fast we don’t even think aboutbut as long as we recognise what we are doing and try to review our initial perceptions from a different light we can stop ourselves from becoming too judgemental and that’s always worth the effort x

      Posted on 10 November, 2016 at 1:14 pm
  16. Ah I love this one. I think judging people can be as damaging to yourself as it is to others. Great words to live by.

    thetaleofmummyhood recently posted…Positivity Breeds Positivity…My Profile

    Posted on 10 November, 2016 at 1:34 pm
    1. Thank you, I think so too x

      Posted on 10 November, 2016 at 5:37 pm
  17. This is such a great post and such a great mantra. I think that, because of the media, we are bombarded each day with so many negative messages about other people, that it becomes second nature to think in the same vein. I do catch myself doing the same, and often give myself a good talking too – but more often than not I catch myself thinking negative things about me – which is also not a great place to be! #ablogginggoodtime
    Cherry – The Newby Tribe recently posted…What To Do When The World Has Gone MadMy Profile

    Posted on 10 November, 2016 at 2:14 pm
    1. I think we are all more critical of ourselves than anyone else and we need to catch ourselves then too and try to replace it with something positive

      Posted on 10 November, 2016 at 5:39 pm
  18. Ooooh I love this and love this idea for a series. Great post. I will be back for more! #ablogginggoodtime
    Susie at This Is Me Now recently posted…Instagram – who cares what I’m eating?My Profile

    Posted on 10 November, 2016 at 2:33 pm
    1. Aww, thank you x

      Posted on 10 November, 2016 at 5:41 pm
  19. Another fantastic set of words! I’m going to pinch them again for our notice board. I agree that our culture is so judgy these days. I try not to do it. I think some of it is human nature but you can train yourself to do it less! Another quote I love which is really similar to this is “You never know what someone else is going through, so just be kind.”. Hope you have a happy and positive week! #FamilyFun
    Angela Watling recently posted…Are we really listening ? My Profile

    Posted on 10 November, 2016 at 4:50 pm
    1. Thank you, it makes my day to think that others are doing this along with us! Great quote, it’s so true, you really never know x

      Posted on 10 November, 2016 at 5:58 pm
  20. This is such a powerful quote and so very true. As I understand it we are all genetically programmed to form judgments, and we can all be unconsciously biased, but we seem to live in a world now where it’s acceptable to attack people verbally with our own judgments and opinions or to use them against a person. You are absolutely right in that we need to challenge ourselves and I like your idea of swapping a snap thought that may pop into our head for something more positive. I don’t think any of us have the right to judge another person as none of us can ever truly know another person’s story. Beautiful post and quote again – I love this series. #coolmumclub x

    Posted on 10 November, 2016 at 9:55 pm
    1. Thank you so much. Since really paying attention to my thoughts I’ve noticed I do it way more than I ever believed but I’ve also discovered a lot of the time it’s really easy to alter my perceptions and I always feel more positive afterwards x

      Posted on 10 November, 2016 at 10:08 pm
  21. I’m back by with #momsterslink
    Heather Keet recently posted…Retail therapy, it solves everything…My Profile

    Posted on 11 November, 2016 at 12:01 am
    1. 😁

      Posted on 11 November, 2016 at 8:17 am
  22. Loved this post. Imagine a world where we stopped judging and being judged. I’m going to pay attention to my thoughts this week and boot out the judgy ones #ablogginggoodtime
    Lynne (Raising my Autistic son) recently posted…family and friendsMy Profile

    Posted on 11 November, 2016 at 10:29 am
    1. Thank you. The world would certainly be happier place x

      Posted on 11 November, 2016 at 12:30 pm
  23. I totally agree with this! Judging others isn’t good for them or for us. It’s good to recognize it as something to be changed, I’m working on that myself too! Thank you for sharing with #candidcuddles
    Becky, Cuddle Fairy recently posted…Our Visit to Dublin Zoo 2016My Profile

    Posted on 11 November, 2016 at 12:17 pm
    1. Thank you, you’re right, stopping judging will make everyone happier x

      Posted on 11 November, 2016 at 12:32 pm
  24. Sadly I think we have been conditioned by all around as to judge and it does take a certain amount of rewiring of our thoughts to kick the judging to the curb! Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub lovely xx

    Posted on 11 November, 2016 at 12:21 pm
    1. It’s true, it certainly isn’t an easy task to change our thought processes, especially when it’s all around us every day. But paying attention to it does make you stand up and take notice even more and hopefully make us less judgmental x

      Posted on 11 November, 2016 at 12:33 pm
  25. So needed in America right now…

    I hope you compile these words to live by into an ebook or sorts…

    kristin mccarthy recently posted…Careful Now America…for they are watching youMy Profile

    Posted on 11 November, 2016 at 3:00 pm
    1. Ha ha, funnily enough I was just thinking about that yesterday! Maybe one day when I can carve out some time x

      Posted on 11 November, 2016 at 6:30 pm
    2. And thank you for the ego boost 😘

      Posted on 11 November, 2016 at 6:31 pm
  26. It is me again- stoping by to say hi from #pickandmix
    kristin mccarthy recently posted…Careful Now America…for they are watching youMy Profile

    Posted on 11 November, 2016 at 3:10 pm
  27. I love this. We all judge way too quickly. We can deny it but we all do it, even without thinking. I’ve been thinking a lot about my thoughts lately and trying to think positively all the time, so not judging other should definitely be included in these thoughts.
    Sam recently posted…Don’t Worry, Be Happy My Profile

    Posted on 11 November, 2016 at 3:12 pm
    1. It’s definitely one of those easy to say hard to do kind of things but it’s worth the effort x

      Posted on 11 November, 2016 at 6:32 pm
  28. This is a great post that makes you stop and think. Do I do that? #FamilyFun
    Helena recently posted…Word of the Week: BeginningMy Profile

    Posted on 11 November, 2016 at 9:01 pm
    1. Thank you x

      Posted on 11 November, 2016 at 9:51 pm
  29. Ah I needed to read this today – I feel like I’ve been judging and judged far too much this week. Love the final quote from Mother Theresa too. #ablogginggoodtime
    Mindful Mummy Mission recently posted…And You Thought You Were Worried…My Profile

    Posted on 11 November, 2016 at 10:27 pm
    1. Thank you. I love it when we read something at just the right time, like serendipity x

      Posted on 12 November, 2016 at 8:21 am
  30. Sometimes it is hard not to judge, but the world would be a better place if we could all make an effort not to judge. #FabFridayPost
    Fiona – Coombe Mill recently posted…Country Kids 12th November 2016My Profile

    Posted on 11 November, 2016 at 11:45 pm
    1. It is hard, it’s almost instinctual to judge others and ourselves. But making the effort to recognise when we are doing it and to challenge those judgements can make a real difference x

      Posted on 12 November, 2016 at 8:23 am