Each week we change the words/quote/saying that we are displaying on the noticeboard in our kitchen; these are the words we try to live by individually and as a family that week. Some weeks may focus on lifting our mood, others may be about motivation or attitude to life; something that speaks to us on some level and that we can directly apply to our lives. Changing the words each week stops them from becoming just another thing you walk past without really seeing, it keeps things fresh and stops them losing their power. This series is where I share those words with you in the hope they may help you and your family too. If you a new to the series and want to learn more, you can read the first post here, or check out the Words To Live By tab in the top menu.
What do you do when life throws you a curveball (or several)? Do you fight against it or go with the flow?
Your answer may depend on your understanding of the phrase ‘go with the flow’. Some people associate it with giving in and letting life just happen rather than creating the life you want, but that isn’t what it means at all. It’s about working with life, rather than against it.
No matter how much you plan and prepare in life, things will always come up at the last minute to change things. Your kid may get sick, or the tube go on strike on a day you have a big presentation or meeting. Your flight might get cancelled or delayed as you are setting off on holiday. It may rain on your wedding day. None of these things can be changed, but how you react to them can.
You could get angry, frustrated, upset. You could make a big fuss and call anyone you can to complain about the situation and demand they fix it somehow. You could become despondent and feel like the whole world is out to get you. Or, you could go with the flow.
Accept that things happen and work with it instead of against it. One of my favourite pictures from my wedding is one where you can see the big black boots sticking out under my dress. It had been raining all morning and attempting the sodden and muddy grass in my high heels would have been a very bad idea. Instead of fighting against the fact it was raining at my wedding and letting it ruin the day I went with it and we had the most magical day.
If your child is sick and you have to miss an important meeting, there’s no use fighting against it, it won’t get you anywhere other than you being stressed and your already sick child feeling guilty. Do what you can in terms of work, whether its rescheduling, arranging a conference call, or just arranging to meet up with someone who did attend on your return so that they can catch you up. Then make the most of this extra time with your child. Snuggle up under a blanket and watch a film. Some of my favourite memories are from these kinds of days with my mum.
When you go with the flow, you’re not giving in, you are working with the situation. You do what you can with what you have. Not only will you be calmer, you’re more likely to see opportunities that may arise as part of the situation. As bloggers every situation can be mined for blog post ideas (What to do when x happens), but there are other opportunities too.
A few years back our return flight from holiday was cancelled due to a problem with the plane and we were all ferried to an airport hotel for the night and most of the following day. A lot of people hung around the hotel, making frantic phone calls, complaining to anyone who would listen. Not surprisingly that didn’t get the plane fixed any sooner, it just got them and everyone around then stressed and angry. We chose to go with the flow, headed out and explored the local area, found a bar to watch the football in and had a pretty good time.
I’m more than aware there are plenty of instances when the crap being thrown at you can’t be turned to your advantage, such as the death of a loved one or a miscarriage. But even in those circumstances fighting against it won’t change the fact that it has happened. By working with life, instead of against it, you can grieve and you can accept or ask for help. You can still get angry, but accept that anger is also a part of life. Allow yourself to feel all these things rather than fighting against them and bottling them up inside. Believe me when I say that is not the way the to go.
Going with the flow can work in all areas of your life. Think of all the times you have needed to do something and no matter how you tried you just couldn’t get it, but then further down the line you did it with ease. The first time you were probably trying to force it too much. What about all those times you were looking for something or trying to remember something but try as hard as you can it eludes you. Then later, when you are more relaxed and not even thinking about it, you remember what it was or stumble across what you were earlier looking for. You had got back into the natural flowI know this happens to me with my writing. Sometimes I can sit down and have a list of all the things I want to say but no matter how long I sit there it just doesn’t seem to work or come together properly. It’s because I’m trying to force it. In those cases I have found that by doing a quick free-write (writing down every single thought that comes into your head, even if it’s ‘I don’t know what to write’ over and over, for a set amount of time like 5-10 minutes), really helps free up my mind and my thoughts and allows me to get into the flow. When I come back to my writing it spills out of me.
The next time life throws you a curveball, go with the flow. Sometimes, those things that we think are terrible turn out to be opportunities in disguise.
In the spirit of going with the flow, the Words To Live By series is taking a break for the next two weeks and will return on Mon 6th March (sign up below so you don’t miss it’s return). Next week is half term for us (I know it’s this week for a lot of the country but we seem to be out of sync), then my Hubby should be returning from Sea at the end of the month so I am lightening the workload to spend more time with him too. I will still be posting other things throughout those weeks but this series takes up a big bulk of my time so I’m giving myself some breathing room to fit in other activities.
If you want more help going with the flow this week you can grab the free workbook below x
Great advice. I can think of so many times when “going with the flow” made a bad situation easier to deal with. In particular a time we went out for a friends birthday. There were lots of us and we were split over 2 separate tables. The service and food was dreadful and we had to make a complaint. But whilst we were both unhappy with the food, the other table spent most of the evening complaining about it to each other and getting worked up, whereas our table just made our complaint to the waiter and then got on with enjoying each others company. Needless to say, our table had the better evening!
I hope you enjoy your little break and have a wonderful time with your hubby when he’s back #MarvMondays
Lucy At Home recently posted…How To Host The Ultimate Girls Superhero Party
Thank you, we had a similar experience for my mum’s birthday. You definitely have to learn when to just let go and go with it x
I always love our words of the week and this one I spot on too. Sometimes you have to just go with the flow, especially when things are out of your control. Thanks for joining us for #marvmondays
Aww, thank you x
Going with the flow definitely makes life less stressful.
#bigpinklink
thetaleofmummyhood recently posted…Positivity Breeds Positivity…
It really does x
I wish so much I could learn to go with the flow, sometimes I manage to do it and others I just can’t seem to. This is a brilliant post with fab advice we could all take something from. #mg
Rach recently posted…Leave Our Bodies Alone
Thank you, I’m a work in progress on this front but I’m getting better at it and it definitely makes a difference x
Great idea-and awesome advice this week. Going with the flow has taken me years to understand, but it has really helped me as a teacher and a mom. So happy to find your blog via #mg!
Thank you, glad you’ve managed to make it work for you x
Great reminder to get into the flow.
Thank you x
Totally agree with the the words go with the flow. I remember doing training about change at work & one thing I always remember from that is something called the control dartboard. The centre is what you have control over, things you can change or have an impact on. If what is going on around you you can not control then don’t use all your energy on it. And it does work enjoy your time off, I look forward to reading your next posts. X #marvmondays
Jo from Organised Jo recently posted…Organised Jo is 1 year old!
Thank you, that’s a great way of looking it x
I love this post and so needed to read it today. I admit I do think of “going with the flow” as giving up but thank you for showing me a different perspective. You are right as sometimes things happen outside of our control and rather than fight, we have to know what we can or cannot control, work with life and move onwards and upwards. Hope to see you again on #bigpinklink
This is a really wonderful quote and I say it so often! Something like “let it flow”, don’t stuck on a problem or on situations which you can’t change. Just keep going..;-)
Thank you for sharing #Globalblogging
– Emmi
Emmi recently posted…Emmi’s weekly menu plan #2 – Easy and frugal ideas for the family
Thank you, thats a great way to be x
These are the words I need the most. I’ve calmed down a lot in the past year since I’ve switched to a writing career. It’s so much easier to go with the flow when all your clients are faceless on the internet. #bigpinklink
Heather Keet recently posted…Pasta Carbonara recipe that will make you happy dance…
Ha ha, nothing interrupts your flow like other people 😂
I’ve certainly become better at this since having kids, I really struggled with not being able to control *everything* in the same way I did pre-parenthood – it was that or drive myself even more insane over every toilet request just as we were rushing out or a nap at the ‘wrong’ time!! 🙂 Have a great break x #DreamTeam
Mess and Merlot recently posted…SHE LOVES HERSELF – WINNETTES
Ha ha, kids certainly know how to push our buttons don’t they, especially when it comes to trying to leave the house!
I love this!! It is so true I definitely try to live by this quote however with a new baby and 2 young girls it can be hard to stop myself from getting anxious and cross. It is so much better when their is no stress and happy faces. #mg #dreamteam
natalie recently posted…The end of an era.
Thank you, nothing brings out our anxiety like kids and sometimes it’s a case of go with the flow or feel like we’re drowning 😬
I know it’s old but I genuinely do believe that everything happens for a reason. I was a lot more controlling before I became a mum, but I think that having children has given me a sense of “meh” which I’ve learned to embrace. Great words to keep in mind and in heart lovely. Thanks for sharing with #DreamTeam x
Rhyming with Wine recently posted…#DreamTeam Linky Week 42
I believe everything happens for a reason too. We may not realise it at the time but looking back you can see the path it led you to x
Love this series. I will miss it for the next two weeks but think it’s great that you are having lots of lovely time with your family. #DreamTeam
Helena recently posted…In Celebration of the Female Body
Aw, thank you. It’s nice to be missed x
Loved this week’s Words to Live By! I just took a stress management class and it helped me recenter on letting certain things go. I also have some old books my boss gave like 15 years ago called “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff”. Need to dust them off and put them in my view sight.
Enjoy your time with your hubby! We will see you when you get back =) #Dreamteam
Thank you, sounds like a great book (and a great boss). I really did have to go with the flow as it turned out the hubby’s leave was postponed and he’s still not back. He should be home by the end of next week though x
Alana, this post was exactly what I needed to read today. Exactly. Thank you so much.
Jean | DelightfulRepast.com recently posted…Mighty Leaf Tea Review and Giveaway
Aw, thank you. Glad I could help x
I totally relate to John Lennon’s. We are guilty of trying to plan life so much that we can miss the time in between. Thanks for linking up #globalblogging
Definitely, thank you x
Oh I like this, have a good half term x #familyfun
Thank you x
Ah very wise words. I really try to stay calm when things go all wrong etc but it is really hard. It is the best way to be though as there really is nothing you can do! Enjoy your break lovely and thanks for sharing with #bestandworst x
Sarah Howe recently posted…Best and Worst Week #84
Thank you. It’s certainly easier said than done and I don’t always manage it but I’m getting better x
loving this! I’ve never been a go with the flow type person but I am learning to be. and I am def more prepare – then go with the flow!
#marvmondays !
emma me and b recently posted…8 Tips for Coping When Working Away from Home
Thank you. I’m a strong believer in living with intention and purpose (future words for the series maybe?) and having a plan, it’s the not getting so caught up in it when the plan goes awry thats important x
Some wonderful thoughts here. I love all of the quotes you have used and I am definitely thinking of going with the flow in a different way.
#FamilyFun
Ali Duke recently posted…Things That Have Made Me Happy This Week #2
Thank you x
Sometimes I’m brilliant at this and other times I just get so bloody frustrated! But you are right it doesn’t actually change anything. I guess I just always like to be in control but we can not control everything can we?! Great post! 🌟 #FamilyFun
Catie: An Imperfect Mum recently posted…How to add a linky list under your blog post
Thank you, I’m exactly the same when it comes to a loss of control but I’m getting better and better at it x
I definitely need to follow this advice and try to go with the flow a lot more. As a naturally anxious person, I really need to make an effort to try and live like this! #bestandworst
Autumn’s Mummy recently posted…My 10 top tips for dealing with a cold
A lot of my anxiety is centred around a loss of control so learning to go with the flow has been a big help for me x
I love this idea. I need help to do it though sometimes. I tend to be very adaptive which is a good start probably but then afterwards go over things to much… was it the best idea… etc. Def need to go more with the flow. Thanks. Found you today on #bigpinklink
Thank you. It can be hard to pull off sometimes, especially when you start overthinking things. I’m getting better at it though x
Such fantastic and important advice – something I certainly need to work harder at trying to do! #bestandworst
Helen x
http://www.treasureeverymoment.co.uk/
Thank you x
Great advice. Something my husband and I both actually swear by. Sometimes we forget and it’s only when you realise that what you’re doing is not working and you remember to ‘go with the flow’that you are at peace.
#ablogginggoodtime.
Thank you. It always helps when you’re both in the same page, and I love how you bring yourselves back x
I always adore your posts and get so much from them. Most of my life going with the flow has been a struggle for me. It is something I have been working hard on over the past few years. I am so much happier now I am learning to let go of that control an ego with the flow much more. Enjoy half term xx #mg
Thank you so much 😊. It’s something I struggle with in some areas of my life and not in others, but I’m definitely getting better at it x
It’s absolutely something we should all be doing – going with the flow, working with life and not against it. Knowing that everything happens for a reason and that looking at a greater picture means living a happier and less stressed life. I like the saying – Life is what happens when you are bussy making other plans. So true! Thanks for the inspiration! #ablogginggoodtime
Thank you, couldn’t agree more x
I think this has been one of the biggest lessons I have learned, since becoming a SAHM. I just have to “Go With The Flow” … Relax, take a deep breath and carry on. Otherwise I would be in a constant state of chaos 🙂 #globalblogging
One Messy Mama recently posted…Global Blogging #15
Ha ha, I must tell myself to take a deep breathe at least 100 times a day, kids certainly know how to challenge us 😬
Yep, I like this phrase. I’ve always been relatively laid back but having a baby has given a whole new meaning to these words, life is now so unpredictable that going with the flow has become the only way to live! It takes away the pressure and disappointment that I might feel if I had my heart set on something that was actually out of my control. #ablogginggoodtime
Thank you. Life with kids is definitely unpredictable 🙂
I’m totally a go with the flow type, Dave definitely brings me down to this level too. It’s very diplomatic!! Enjoy your break. Thank you for linking up to the #familyfunlinky
Karen | TwoTinyHands recently posted…Choo Choo on the #FamilyFunLinky
Ha ha, I find it hard sometimes but I’m getting there x
This is something I often remind myself to do. I am not very good at it all of the time but when it comes to things I can’t control, like a problem with the plane, I am happy to go with it. I can’t change it, it wasn’t my fault and like you say complaining loudly won’t make any difference.
#SharingtheBlogLove
I’m the same. Certain areas of my life I can go with the flow without any problems, it feels natural and I don’t even ink about it. In other areas though I really struggle, but I’m getting there x
This is such good advice. For me, going with the flow, is all about accepting the things that I can’t change. I’ve learned the hard way that fighting them only makes me stressed and miserable whereas accepting them and looking for the positives makes them so much easier. I also find that free writing helps a huge amount if I want to write and I’m feeling blocked. Hope you have a lovely half-term 🙂 #sharingthebloglove
Louise (Little Hearts, Big Love) recently posted…Travelling to the 12 corners of the UK in a Tuk Tuk for Healing Little Hearts
Thank you. You’re so right, if you can’t change the situation, change your mindset instead x
I say this a lot, the best made plans are made to be broken 🙂 #PoCoLo
Chantelle Hazelden recently posted…My Daily Skincare Routine
Ha ha, so true x
I agree – your mind, body & emotions all have to line up. If we go against what we really want deep down then there’s resistance there for sure. Thanks for sharing your quotes with us at #candidcuddles
I love this take on going with the flow – I’ve always thought it was quite a passive outlook, but this makes perfect sense to me. There are always going to be situations that you can’t change, but changing your attitude to them and making the best of it is such good advice. Enjoy your half term break! Thanks for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove
Katy – Hot Pink Wellingtons recently posted…The Pregnancy Diaries: Week 23
Thank you, glad I brought you a new perspective x
Alana this is fab – as Is aw the title of this week’s post for the series I was a bit ‘oh that’s not such an inspiring phrase’ – not very Alana like – but I love how you were bluffing us and twisted it to not be the usual – more modern – meaning. Thank you. #familyfunlinky
Ha ha, thank you. I’m all about changing perceptions x
Great advice. There really is no gain getting all worked up on something that you can’t change. Thank you so much for linking up with us on #FabFridayPost x
So true, thank you x
Very wise words indeed! And love all the quotes that go with it. I think you’re spot on with this too, if we fight against our situations then we just get more stressed and upset and gain nothing. Much better to accept the situation we’re in and make the best of it. Hope you have a nice break! x #CandidCuddles
Madeline (this Glorious Life) recently posted…5 things to do every day to let your children know you love them.
Thank you, there’s no point making a stressful situation even more stressful, a shift in mindset can make all the difference x
I think I’m usually a Go with the flow type of person, but the other side of this is that I can be too passive sometimes – that’s something I have to fight against. It is important to accept the circumstances you’re in, make the most of them, and work to change them if you want something different. Enjoy your half term break! #CandidCuddles
Mummy and the Mexicans recently posted…January in Review
Absolutely, couldn’t agree more x
Another very beautiful and insightful read Alana. Totally agree with this and it also offered some different slants to going with the flow which I found interesting – especially around forced action. I love the line ‘complaining to whoever will listen’ – don’t they just. Enjoy your break #PoCoLo
Thank you. I think some people just like the sound of their own voice 😬
Oh this is so hard for me. I am THE WORST at going with the flow.
No matter how hard I try at being laidback (total oxymoron) I end up being a loon.
#KCACOLS
kristin mccarthy recently posted…When Toddlers Attack…
Ha ha. It’s not the easiest thing to do at times, especially with kids. I only have two, I think I’d be a quivering wreck with 4 so you don’t do too badly x
Hi Alana, I use the words go with the flow often. For me it means exactly what you have said, it means making plans but not beating myself up when things don’t go to plan. Life is too short to stress when plans go out the window and life gets in the way. Sometimes going with the flow can be the difference between going crazy or keeping our sanity.
Going with the flow when things don’t work out, means I don’t get wrapped up in things I can’t change but can get on with the things I can.
Have a fun half term and time off with your hubby.
#PoCoLo
Debbie Roberts recently posted…The Only Way Was Up
Thank you. That’s exactly how I feel too x
Words of the week: what a great idea! I need to try and go with the flow, I am a bit of a control freak and find myself getting stressed if things don’t go exactly to plan x #SharingtheBlogLove
Thank you. I’m a bit of a work in progress myself but find life slows much smoother when I manage it.
I really do love the idea of doing this. Every time I read one of your posts, I think what a positive impact doing something similar would have on our lives and tell myself I need to do something about it. Going with the flow, would be a good one for all of us in this house to live by as none of us are very good at it. Thank you so much for sharing such a positive post with us at #PostsFromTheHeart
Aww, thank you. Let me know how you get on if you do decide to give it a go x
Just popping back again from #blogcrush and it’s been great to read again! I especially love this line: “Sometimes, those things that we think are terrible turn out to be opportunities in disguise.” #blogcrush
Lucy At Home recently posted…BlogCrush #01: Fri 17th February
Aw, thank you so much 😊
Congratulations this was the most popular post this week for #mg! Such a great post!
Aww, thank you 😊 xx
Yet again some gorgeous and inspiring quotes here. I always feel so much more positive and empowered when I had read your posts, thank you! #KCACOLS
five little doves recently posted…My children are just as annoying as yours!
Thank you, you’ve no idea how happy that makes me x
Enjoy the break from the series. Looking forward to the next installment. #PoCoLo
Sinead (shinnersandthebrood.com) recently posted…Mom to 5K #2 – RUNNING TIPS FOR BEGINNERS
Thank you x
Some great quotes there – several of which I should really start listening to!
Thanks for linking to #ablogginggoodtime
Mummy in a TuTu (@mummyinatutu) recently posted…#LionessMama Week 17 Round-Up!
Ha ha, thank you x
I think this is one of my favourites yet. I definitely used to be in the other camp, but the last few months I’ve definitely moved over to going with the flow. To not let things that I can’t change bother me. To look at the bigger picture and realise that in the grand scheme its ok. Thank you for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove x
Laura – dear bear and beany recently posted…Finding The Right Pro For The Job with Bidvine…
Aww, thank you, I was the same but it doesn’t get you anywhere. Going with the flow is definitely less stressful! x
You gave me a whole new perspective on going with the flow. Very timely for me right now. #kcacols
Thank you, hope it helped x
This is good, I try to go with the flow and actually have relaxed more since becoming a mum. I think motherhood does that to you sometimes! Good tip about the writing block too, will try that! Hope you’re having a lovely week with the family and having your husband back xx #ablogginggoodtime
Susie at This Is Me Now recently posted…Recipe of the week: chocolate filled American pancakes
Thank you, his leave was postponed so he’s still not back yet. Going with the flow turned out to be very apt! His flights are through for next week though, so fingers crossed.
I love reading these posts of yours, and I totally agree about going with the flow. I need a little bit of that in my life. Thanks for linking up at #fortheloveofBLOG. Claire x
Thank you, glad you’re enjoying them x
Popping back from #FortheloveofBLOG
It’s true. Too bad I suck at going with the flow! It’s somehing I am working on.
oops…#sharingthebloglove
Barrie Bismark recently posted…Hell
Ha ha, you’re certainly not alone. It’s easier said than done but I’m getting there x
Oh I hear you! This happened to me almost a month ago when my car got written off whilst just being parked outside my house. Not something you expect and a huge curve ball to deal with. And so began the nightmare of calls to the insurance, getting a hire car, getting mine collected, finding a new car, getting the money sorted and so on and so on. It was a nightmare – totally out of my control and I really did have to Go With The Flow. Thankfully, as I sit here and write this, we’re almost at the end of a month long pain in the ass of a situation. I’ve just collected the new car and the hire car is being picked up tomorrow. Finally we can get back to normal. Such a true sentiment. Loved this. #SharingTheBlogLove
Jaki recently posted…Saving Money With A Greener Home
Thank you. So glad it’s finally all behind you now, sounds like a complete nightmare!
What a great post. I wish i could go with the flow more! Thank you for linking up with #KCACOLS we hope you see you again 🙂 xx
Thank you, it certainly takes a bit of practice! x
I love that picture of you in your wedding dress and rain boots! I also love that Tzu quote! #sharingthebloglove
Angela @ Setting My intention recently posted…Simple Living Interview Series: Handcrafted Travellers
Thank you 😊
I love the go with the flow mindset, sometimes when I am super stressed and I feel my life is winging out of control I picture myself floating in a river being taken by the current – yup literally going with the flow! Thanks for the beautiful words. #SharingtheBlogLove
That’s a great visualisation, Amy have to use that one x
Should have been ‘may’ have to use that. Damn predictive text 😂
Agree that going with the flow isn’t passive and can be enlightening instead – have a lovely break – and thanks for sharing with #PoCoLo x
Stephanie Robinson recently posted…Behind the Orangery at Blickling
Thank you x
Love your attitude, outlook and mottos. And changing the words in the kitchen…inspiring.
#KCACOLS
Thank you x
Thank you, glad I’ve shown you the light 😬😂
Ah I’m so glad somebody chose this post as their #blogcrush – it really is a great series. I hope you’re having a lovely break with your hubby and “going with the flow”
#blogcrush
Lucy At Home recently posted…#BlogCrush Week 3: 3rd February 2017
Thank you so much xx